I never blog about my struggles

Why I don't like blogging: because my blogs aren't a journey of my life but a place to bust out some information.

But I want to give a small glimpse of where i'm at in my brokenness.

Recent struggle: Realising how much I am a slave to what others think of me.

Why it's a struggle: Because this sin spreads to all areas of my life. It's ironic and frustrating to realise that I now find myself deep in what I try to turn against.

I know that I can't work my way out of this. And I know i need to rely on God. But it's hard to get out of the mind-set that if I read my bible lots and learn lots i'll get sorted.

Music makes the people come together

Reading 'The Guardian' [first time in ages-thanks to Clare for keeping me humble!] at work today I came across a great story of restoration. For 40 years there have been restrictions which basically stop Cuba having any involvement with the United States. But both Britain's Royal Ballet and the New York Philharmonic Orchestra have been invited by Cuba to play two concerts over four days in the glorious Cuba itself! And team Obama has agreed to a special exemption from this 40-year nonsense!

According to 'The Guardian'...

"The visits will be among the most high-profile cultural exchanges with the West since...Fidel Castro seized power in 1959"

They've done this with the New York Philharmonic before in other places...http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/10/arts/music/10phil.html.

God is always restoring and transforming. Maybe this landmark event will lead to a time of further restoration between Cubans and Americans? As Madonna would say...Music makes the people come together!

Left in the boat

In Matthew 14: 22-36 we read about Jesus (and Peter) walking on the water.

The thing I noticed most reading it this time was that there were 11 other disciples left in the boat when Peter decided to step out and meet Jesus.

12 disciples. Eleven left in the boat. One out with Jesus.

Who wants to be one of those left in the boat?

Turning on my community

So I haven't blogged about what's been going on since I've got back from Canada so I thought I'd do a bit of a double post; a quick update then move onto some other stuff.

Very soon after I got back from Canada I started working for 'Youth For Christ' with a project called 'Kick London'. 'Kick London' is looking to transform the lives of young people through sports. My role is to support the coaches with the sessions they run and also support them through prayer, bible studies and devotional times. The work is challenging but great.

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Now onto what I really wanted to blog about!

I was reading Daniel and was struck by his prayer in chapter 9.

" I prayed to the LORD my God and confessed: "O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with all who love him and obey his commands, we have sinned and done wrong..."

This man has given up the royal food, been used by God to interpret others dreams, been willing to break the law by praying to God, and then got thrown into a lions den for refusing to bow down to anyone but God, yet he says "we have sinned and done wrong".

Daniel just isn't willing to turn his back on his community.

I am so quick to separate myself by saying to God "they have sinned, forgive them" rather than "we have sinned, forgive us".

I can learn a lot from Daniel!

Back in the homeland!

I'm back home in the UK! No more Canada, i'm afraid, but it's great to be back to the homeland. It looks like a fun summer ahead with job hunting, holidays, music and catching up with friends!

Last day at work!

I can't believe it's my last day as intern at Grindstone church! It's crazy how quickly this day has come around. It's been an intense time here, yet September 6th (when I arrived in Toronto) somehow feels like yesterday. What an amazing experience it's been! And I'm so grateful for getting the chance to come all the way out here to Canada to be part of this church. Thanks to Mark Bonam for sorting it all out for me! As the 'worship arts' intern i'm amazed at how much they integrated me into the team; they kept me so involved even though i'm young and not trained! Working so much with Eli, the worship pastor, has been awesome. I've learnt so much and feel this year has led me to a great place in my journey as a disciple of Christ.

What is blocking the release of your Spirit from flowing?

Yesterday in the 24-7 prayer room at Freedom House in Brantford, I read this on one of the prayer walls...

"What is blocking the release of Your Spirit from flowing in this city?"

To me this is a massive question because it can be asked on SO many levels.

"What is hindering You, Holy Spirit, from working fully in my life?"
in my/the Church?(local/global)
in this place?
in this nation?

On a personal level God is working in amazing ways but there are still things I do that may hinder God from moving more powerfully in my life. Just writing that seems crazy...can our stubbornness really stop God Almighty moving?! Surely God can just do what he wants?

The story of the Israelites, led by Moses and Aaron, in the desert comes to mind. If they were obedient would they have been in the desert for so long? Did God stop working? Or did it just take a bit longer?

I don't think we can STOP God in our stubbornness. However I think that sometimes God chooses not to work in ways he would have done if we were obedient. So when we're disobedient maybe God is still working and using us but it's a longer process.

Any thoughts on that? I'm still working through what I think about it all so i'd be interested to hear your thoughts. I think there can be spiritual opposition to what God wants to do as well but i'm not gonna write my thoughts on that now!

So to summerise this post here's a question I want to think about, 'What am I doing, or not doing, that is slowing down what God wants to do through me?'.


Daria (heads up 24-7 for Canada), Matt and I at Freedom House, Brantford.